I've spent the last couple months house-sitting in Honolulu. And part of my task was to keep a couple of plants alive.

Succulents, specifically.

Which should be easy enough, right?

"Can you take care of a few plants?" my friend asked.
"Yes, of course," I said. "With a doubt."

Because how hard could it be.

Succulents.
Low-maintenance. Thrive in neglect. The chillest of houseplants.

But I fussed over it.
“I’ll water it now just in case I forget later.”
“This sun is intense - better top it off.”
“If I prep enough in advance, it won’t fall apart when I get busy.”

Spoiler: I killed the succulents.

A couple weeks into heavily overwatering the plants and voilà - a pile of hot, crispy garbage plants.

And the thing is…this felt familiar. I’ve done this before.
Just not with plants.

I’ve done it with my job.
My business.
With my own nervous system.

I over-prepare to avoid the feeling of being behind.
I over-work to feel in control.
I over-give to make sure people like me.
I over-think to avoid making the "wrong" move.

All while calling it "being a good leader."

The part I missed

You can’t water it all at once and expect to thrive.

In fact, my friend, that's flooding.

Succulents need space. Air. The occasional drink.

They thrive because you trust them to do what they’re built to do.

Leadership works the same way.

it's not about solving every future problem in advance.

It’s about staying present enough to notice what actually needs care right now.

If you’re leading something (or someone)

Here’s a reminder from my dead succulent (RIP):

Build in breathing room.​
Leave space between calls. Between the pings of Slack. Between milestones (stop raising the bar as soon as you meet it). Trust that rest is part of the rhythm and not a reward for finishing.

Let people (and projects) self-regulate.​
You don’t need to touch everything every day even though as a leader, you have a million things to do. Even though your brain will tell you it's safer. Delegate. Step back. If it’s not wilting, leave it.

Rest before you crash.​
Don't wait until you're drowning underwater to take a breath. If you’re feeling dread every time you near the keyboard or the slowness of brain fog, it’s already time. Also feeling resentful? I see you.

I’m keeping a photo of the shriveled succulent on my desk for this summer season.
Not as punishment but as a reminder (which admittedly, is quite morbid).

You can’t overthink or overwork your way to success.
You can’t lead from burnout.
And you can’t tend to yourself or your team by doing the most.

You grow things by showing up.
With space. With trust. With just enough water.